it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
