What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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