I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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