No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my sisters under your porch take her home
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
