ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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