I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
