I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
