why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize