Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
