i jhust puked up my retainher.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
