Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize