he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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