I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
