you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i believe in u and ur pee
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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