margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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