you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
40s are totally the cure
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
