I just cut my nipple shaving
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
