You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize