i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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