I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
