Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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