return my video game
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
