I think I died a long time ago.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize