why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
