Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
