dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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