Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
