Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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