Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
