she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
