Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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