We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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