you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
