Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
