Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
