this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
