where am i from again
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
