Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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