Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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