I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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