North Korea, Best Korea!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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