I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
