I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
