YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
