Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
