"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He better not be in your backpack
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
