Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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