I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
