I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
