i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
