I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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