It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
