I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize