I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
