I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
