"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
