My boss' voice literally gives me gas
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
