Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just want nice things and good sex
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize