The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
