he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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