So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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